October Reflection — Week One

In last week’s Lantern Letter, “Another Year Forward: An Invitation to Reflect,” I invited you to join me in a month of reflection during October, my birth month. We began with a simple activity: choose an ordinary day and look back at what we did for others, what we did for ourselves, and what moved us to act.

This week, I took up that invitation myself.

With journal in hand, I selected Thursday and chose one situation to examine. It had happened before I sat down to do the activity I described in the last letter. Looking back allowed me to notice something I might otherwise have passed over.

I wrote out the questions from last week and returned to them as I reviewed the day.

Writing Helps Me Notice

The act of writing things down is a worthwhile practice, especially when we take time to consider what an experience has taught us.

In research first reported in 2014, Giada Di Stefano and her colleagues studied how deliberate reflection contributes to learning. In one workplace experiment, employees who spent fifteen minutes writing and reflecting on lessons from their training performed better on a later assessment than those who continued working during that time. The study supports making room for written reflection as part of learning from experience.¹

For me, putting the questions on paper gave me a place to return. I could look at what happened, consider my response, and notice where a familiar habit had begun to take over.

An Email at the Door

On that ordinary Thursday, my family and I planned to run errands and do some walking for exercise. As I was preparing to leave, I received an email about a customer service issue.

The courier service was requesting more information for an international delivery. I had already sent information days before and had been told by email that everything was in order.

Now I was being asked again.

My usual customer service feelings started coming to the surface. I was practically out the door, ready for a lovely day, and I could feel anxiety beginning to claim my attention.

I knew the familiar route. React quickly. Make a negative determination about why I was being asked a third time. Rehearse my explanation in my head. Prepare to wait on hold longer than I had the time or patience for.

What I have sometimes called my dance with “customer no service” was already trying to begin.

But I stopped and thought about it.

Making Room for Another Response

I had made a commitment to myself and my family. I wanted to enjoy our time together. I also wanted to handle the delivery matter so that I would not spend the outing thinking about it.

In that moment, a loving response would honor both commitments.

I prayed.

It was a brief part of the ongoing conversation I can have with God. In that pause, I sensed direction to seek help through a source on my computer. Based on the information I received, I decided to send a short email to the woman I had interacted with just two days before.

I sent it and continued getting ready.

In less than a minute, she responded. Everything was fine. I could disregard the email requesting more information.

I was elated.

The long, frustrating exchange I had begun to anticipate never developed. I had asked for clarification, received it, and could move forward with the day.

Love in an Ordinary Moment

As I reflected, I recognized a small, practical opportunity to honor what Jesus taught.

When He was asked about the greatest commandment, He answered:

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

“This is the first and great commandment.

“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

—Matthew 22:37–39, KJV.

I wanted my response to reflect love for God, care for my family, and care for myself. That also included how I approached the woman receiving my email. I could ask clearly for what I needed without allowing my frustration to decide how I would address her.

There was room to attend to the matter and honor the day we had planned.

What I Carried into the Week

With my journal open, I could see the habit more clearly. An unexpected request had stirred familiar feelings, and I had begun anticipating difficulty before I knew what was actually needed.

That was where I was in the moment.

I had paused, become attentive to God, sought information, and chosen a next step. The outcome was better than I had anticipated, and I was grateful.

Writing about it helped me recognize the choice I had made. It also gave me something to practice.

As the week continued, I practiced that pause more often: noticing when a familiar response was beginning, bringing my attention back to God, and considering what love might ask of me before I moved forward.

I cannot arrange for every concern to be resolved in less than a minute. I can continue practicing the attention that helped me respond differently that day.

Perhaps you have an ordinary moment worth returning to this week.

What happened?
What response began out of habit?
What did you choose?
What would you like to practice again?

An ordinary Thursday gave me something to carry forward. I looked back, recognized where I had been, and saw how a prayerful pause had helped me choose. As the week continued, I gave that choice more room in my daily life.

The map shows me what is. The lantern guides what I choose next.

Reference
¹ Di Stefano, G., Gino, F., Pisano, G., & Staats, B. (2014). Learning by Thinking: How Reflection Aids Performance. Harvard Business School Working Paper No. 14-093. Research described by Harvard Business School in “Reflecting on Work Improves Job Performance,” May 5, 2014.
https://www.library.hbs.edu/working-knowledge/reflecting-on-work-improves-job-performance

Scripture: Matthew 22:37–39, King James Version.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A37-39&version=KJV