Creative, funny, thinker, clown, reliable, risk taker, spend thrift, or reckless.

We are all inside a labeled box. It may have one name on it at work, another around the house, another in the neighborhood and yet another when you are around friends. Anyone of us can find ourselves in a narrow one-dimensional category of who we are.

Some of the labels align with birth order like the “baby”. Sometimes the youngest child is called the baby all of their life. When the youngest goes to family gatherings they are treated like that baby too. Not expected to be able to care for themselves, relying on others to take charge. At times, that baby is the most resilient, thoughtful and successful and yet keeps the label of baby.

Other labels may align with learning styles like “smarty” for someone who does well in school. This person may be highly intelligent or may be able to work hard and reach academic goals well. They could also simply be less of a discipline problem and more amiable to the teachers in school. Some of those labeled as slow or unable to learn may have just not been motivated to learn because their learning style was not honored. Those perceived discipline problems might be children simply asking for help the best way they can.

A person with poor motor skills or lack of coordination maybe told they have “two left feet” or no rhythm! They may be laughed at when they attempt to dance or otherwise publicly participate in activities that will reveal their mobility shortcomings. Yet when they are alone they are able to move fluidly without a hitch!

Boxes provide comfort, safety and insulation from outside harm. Boxes also can be confining, suffocating and limiting. What do your boxes do for you? Are your labels restrictive ways of limiting your growth? Are they providing you with appropriate structure until you are ready to transition to a new level of freedom?

When you are with your friends or family what do they expect from you? Do they expect you to remain in an ill-fitting boundary that is not genuine for you or do they nurture you to be the authentic person you can be? What type of self-talk do you rehearse with yourself? How do you speak into the lives of others? Do you encourage them to move from their box when they are ready?

While some of the labeled boxes are true representations of us at a given moment, are we stifling ourselves when we try to wear it all of the time.  Because none of us is perfect, we cannot do the right thing perfectly all of the time. Likewise we (nor our spouses, nor family members, nor coworkers, nor neighbors) cannot do the wrong thing perfectly every time either.

We often miss out on important growth opportunities because we refuse to remove a label that no longer serves us. We can find it easier to be obsessed with what others may think about us, and our inherent gifts go unused. They are wasted. When we move out of the limiting boxes we move into freedom. That freedom releases us to move into purpose. Our purpose for being is all about freedom, not restraint nor confinement.

Take Inventory and Take Action! Look at the self-imposed labels and boxes in your life, are they serving you? If not, what action can you take? Set goals, which will move you forward and honor the unique, gifted, loving, loveable you that is inside.

Not that there is anything wrong necessarily with being the baby however, if you are limiting yourself to only being cared for by others and not ever taking on the role of caretaker then I think you need to get out of the box. Being in the box of the smarty is not so bad I guess, unless you allow it to keep you from trying new things because you feel you can not move out of your role of knowing it all. Displaying a lack of rhythm in public around others could be all right I suppose, except if that lack of physical expression causes feelings of resentment and anger to erupt.

Well now tag you are it! You get to take a look at your labels and boxes. Decide what you will do to change them and then do it. I heard a story once about some people that were confined in a pit. When one day from the top of the enclosure a rope appeared in the opening. Some in the pit thought great we are going to be rescued! While others thought, they are going to hang us now!

What will you do? Do you see this information as a means of escape or does it add to the crippling nature of being in an enclosure that you have outgrown? Loving you requires action. Take this opportunity to get better at loving you. As you love yourself more you become more loveable. The more love you give the more becomes available to you.

Share your thoughts with me; let me know how you gain new freedom, by thinking (and loving) your way out of the box!

Love,
Deborah
“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself!”