There is more crispness in the air, the wind is blowing a bit more, and my birthday and anniversary have recently passed. That means we are in my favorite season of the year! Being in sunny Southern California it is difficult to pinpoint the seasons by looking at the colors of the trees or the flowers in bloom.

This Thanksgiving I anticipate spending time with family, eating turkey and reminiscing about past Thanksgiving gatherings. I remember my Mom placing high priority on all of us getting together. I remember a great deal of time spent on food preparation. The food was always exceptional, the weather great, everyone present with healthy appetite in tow! As I move through this reflective time of year for me, right after my birthday, I am focused on Thanksgivings past.

I think about the aromas, the dressing; my Mom made the world’s best turkey and dressing. The pies, the cakes, the cobblers, the macaroni and cheese, umm! Who could not have a great time at Thanksgiving? I think about the waddle most of us had when we left the table, mostly because we ate like there would never be such a spread available ever again! That is not all I remember about Thanksgiving. Beyond the food served, it was a tremendous struggle to sit and pretend that we were a happy family. There was so much chaos in our home. As I look back on the past when I was a child, I see: mental, physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse. There was unspeakable violence. Things happened in my household that are not usually part of polite conversation. The environment was charged with hate, fear, and evil acts. Yet God was there! God was there! I survived horrible things. God was there!

I don’t think about these events all of the time, my thoughts are generally miles away from my bleak past. However it is at this time of year that the memories come back very vividly. Dwelling on the negative issues of the past can lead to depression. Reflecting on the past to inventory what has happened and move us closer to victories in the future is healthy. I choose to be healthy.

God gave me the tools I needed to rise above that environment. He truly is a loving Father who only wants what is best for me, and you. I was able to move through the maze of darkness filled with fear, anger, self-loathing and hate. He gave me Maps and Lanterns. Through all that I went through I always knew God’s love. His love was always there comforting and guiding me. The more I engaged my faith I knew that He was the real, all powerful, all knowing and loving God! I learned to love my parents and the other adults whose charge it was to protect me. I learned to be thankful to Him, no matter what it looks like. I am thankful beyond coherent words for being in a relationship with God!

That relationship is bigger and more lasting than any of the other relationships in my life. That relationship is sweeter than all the pie and cocoanut pineapple cake. It overshadows the hurt, resentment, betrayal, mistreatment and abandonment. Its smell is more aromatic than the fresh baked monkey bread. Today I have a freedom that is unsurpassed by anything said, done or heard from the occupants of those now empty chairs. I am able to love myself and others.

You and I were not instructed to love only those that love us. Nor were we asked to love only those that are lovely. We have been commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves. This command comes from the best parent! He does not lose himself in a liquor bottle or turn a blind eye to our needs. He is love. No matter what your family dynamic was or is, no matter what is missing in your life today. No matter how you loathe yourself or others, GOD is…

God is whatever you need. As you think beyond the food that will be served at the table this Thanksgiving and your thoughts move to the chairs, the ones empty and the ones that will be filled, you can focus on the lack in your life. You can dwell in the past and ponder what it would be like now if things had happened differently at Thanksgivings of the past. You can ask why. You can focus on the inappropriate, irresponsible, hurtful things that happened in your past. You can also choose to rise above the hurts and focus on the perfect parent that has equipped you to succeed! You can be thankful for the love of God and your ready access to a relationship with Him. You can love your neighbor as you love yourself. I am truly thankful for my relationship with God!

Take Inventory and then Take Action! He has given me Maps and Lanterns for you too! Contact me for information on how you can be truly thankful this year, by having a deeper love for yourself and others.

Thanksgiving is almost here; what are you truly thankful for?

Love,
Deborah
“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself!”