Since 1968 the fourth Monday in October has been deemed Veterans Day. Earlier in 1954 President Eisenhower signed a bill recognizing November 11th as Veterans Day. National observances of that day were also decreed at that time. The eleventh of November coincides with the commemoration of the ending of World War I.  After virtually the entire planet was involved in war, the day then known as Armistice Day was celebrated to recognize what many believed to be “The war to end all wars”.

Since that decree an innumerable number of lives and collateral damage has resulted as a direct consequence of war. Included in the ruins are losses of: limbs, physical abilities, stable families, moral values, healthy mental capacities and peaceful nights of sleep. All of the negative outcomes connected with war are not in a clear direct line of site, and yet they remain outcomes of war all the same. I am not making an attempt to judge the rightness or wrongness of wars. Nor am I second-guessing decisions or a particular approach to when and upon whom, war is justified. I simply want us to realize, in the forefront of our minds, that those who have donned a uniform with the idea of fighting for the rights and privileges we often take for granted in the United States have paid a significant price.

Two of my uncles, Uncle Brown and Uncle ML were casualties of World War II. While they are both deceased now I do remember them both, as I was a child growing up. Uncle Brown suffered physical injury that caused him to drag one of his legs behind him as he walked. He would pull one leg forward as he supported himself on the other leg, then when steady he would alternate, using the injured leg to balance on as he pulled forward the other. It looked like it took tremendous strength to walk. He would generally hold onto furniture throughout the house to move from one location to another. He appeared to almost be stumbling, and catching himself over and over again. Most of the time when we went to his home for a family visit he could be found resting on a sofa or even the floor. Always with a smile, is how I remember him.

The family never talked to me about the specifics of his injuries. I don’t remember him talking to me about them either. I was a very young child and based on the way I was raised, if you wasn’t explained it was a good idea to keep your questions to yourself, so I did. One thing I do know is that my Uncle Brown had a term of endearment for me, which comes to mind now and brings a smile to my entire face that he only used for me. Whenever I would see him he always smiled and would greet me with that same loving expression. He helped me to know as a child, as a young girl that I was beautiful. Despite the ugliness that dwelling in my life at home, I was beautiful. I loved that about him.  However, he would get that faraway look in his eyes and just sit, without speaking. What was I missing about Uncle Brown because of his war injury? How many other lives might he have touched if it weren’t for the war?

I loved Uncle ML too. I remember him being an alcoholic. I remember him drinking until he passed out. I remember seeing him sitting in his favorite chair in front of the television, talking to himself, snapping his fingers and laughing at his own jokes as he told them. I remember him not saying much to anyone else, just being in his own world when alcohol was in his system. When he was not drinking he was always quiet and respectful to me. Again this was not spoken about openly in the family, not the whys anyway.

I remember after I had moved from my parent’s home and gotten married, Uncle ML drove himself to the house where I was staying. He was barely able to get out of his vehicle and was coming to borrow money to get more to drink. To this day I do not know how he was able to drive, because he was hardly able to get out of the driver’s side of the car in the street and walk around to the sidewalk to talk to me. I remember thinking of all of the lives he had put at risk driving in such a state. All of the innocent people along his path unknowing in harms way!

While my Uncle ML was not working he was a retired military man, there was money in the household. My Aunt was working and I think part of her strategy for keeping him sober was to not allow him access to money for liquor.  It was about that time that he drove to where I was to ask for money to support his habit, that I was informed why Uncle ML drank alcohol to such a degree on such a regular basis. You see during the war when all of those casualties occurred someone had to bury the bodies. Uncle ML along with several other men of color I was told had the job of digging mass graves and filling them with the dead. Even though he had left the battlefield and was physically out of the military, he brought those corpses along with him. Uncle ML used the mind numbing affects of the whiskey to separate him from his memories.

Well that day when he got out of the car was the last time he drove to get something to drink to my knowledge. I went to the store on that day and purchased what he wanted for him and dropped it off at his home, after making sure he got home safely. He lived within walking distance of my residence. I made sure that he had my phone number and told him from that day forward whenever he needed a drink and their was nothing in the house to call us. My husband and I made many trips to pick up and deliver liquor to Uncle ML before he passed from this life some years following his short drive to the house. I missed not being able to get to know my Uncle better because of his state of mind. I wonder about my cousin and his relationship with his dad (my uncle), other relatives and the generations, which followed. What did we lose because of war? Clearly we have gained as well.

In the aftermath of our recent presidential election, where some are shouting praises and others are prophesying doom, can we at least come together in appreciation of those individuals who put their life on the line? Can we see this as more than a time to be off work, more than an opportunity to go to the mall? Can we recognize that some off of the battlefield for years are still suffering? Can we open our hearts and acknowledge those that have given so much individually and collectively to each of us? Can we celebrate them and rally round them? Can we take even one day and focus our hearts, our minds, and our prayers on those that have valiantly, without fanfare, and selflessly give to us?

Please join me in making a call to someone you know that has served in the military. Provide a listening ear, exchange a smile or offer a special prayer for them and those directly in their lives. Together we can acknowledge and honor Uncle Brown and Uncle ML and all of the other individuals that gave and are giving so vitally of themselves to others.

Love,
Deborah
“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself!”