As we move into the second quarter of 2013 how do you look? When you view your character in the mirror what do you see? Those negative behaviors that you planned to leave behind in the past, are they still with you? Those new habits that you wanted to begin, are they part of your routine yet? Or are you mostly still in the same unproductive patterns from the past?

Go back to that mental or physical list you made at the end of last year. You may have called it resolutions, or it may have simply been a visual list in your minds eye of where you want to be by the end of 2013.

Over the past 90 or so days what has changed? Is it still business as usual? Have you learned any new lessons, developed any new strategies? Or are you going around the same mountains, making the same missteps and running your course over the same obstacles?

There is something about how we were designed that causes us to gain information by looking back; it helps us to move forward. There is an African proverb called Sankofa, which basically means “Remember where you came from so that you know where you are going.”

As we look back over just the past three months Take Inventory, not simply looking at the bad or the good. Taking inventory means to see things as they are. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly! If we look with sincerity we will see it all. Let’s start with the beauty and good that is there. What things have you done over this quarter of the year that have nurtured you and caused you to feel loved? How have you given yourself a virtual hug? What have you done to connect more with your Heavenly Father? Have you talked to Him more, given Him additional attention and turned to Him with thanks?  How have you shown love to your neighbor? Genuine heartfelt concern and giving of your gifts to someone else with whom you share the planet, by meeting them at their place of need – that is loving your neighbor.

Take a serous look. Notice the times you expressed love to God, yourself or someone else. Write down those instances. Bring the details back to your recollection. Revisit the feelings you had in those moments when you knew, that you knew, beyond doubt that you were showing love, to God your neighbor or yourself. Feel the peace and joy of those moments. In those moments you will find the peace that surpasses all understanding!  See Philippians 4:7.

Practice those feelings remind yourself that you were designed to love (God, yourself and your neighbor). See Matthew 22:34-40. God would not command us to do something without first having equipped us to perform that function. He is a God of purpose. He knew when He designed us that we needed to give and receive love. We were made in His image. Everyone made in His image is walking in purpose when they are seeking to love and be loved. That includes you, my neighbor, your neighbor and me. When we meet someone at their point of need with our gifts we are expressing love to them. Love is made complete when it is returned to the giver. If you feel that you are not walking in your purpose, check your love walk. You will find important clues there. When one is able to walk in purpose love is definitely involved!

Now let’s look at the times you came up short over this first quarter, the times that your behavior, upon reflection could have been changed to properly show love to yourself or others. Perhaps you did not employ proper boundaries for yourself or others. Maybe your time or resources went to the wrong place. Briefly look at those situations. I want you to spend far less time on these situations than you did on the good and beautiful ones.

If you prefer only Take Inventory of the last week or so. Do not, I repeat DO NOT bathe in these situations. Just look at them long enough to come up with a trend you want to alter. See what the situations have in common. I will give you a money back guarantee that the negative situations have to do with loving yourself or your neighbor! My definition of love is giving of yourself (through your gifts) to meet someone at their point of need; it includes all human relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Find the common thread in those ugly situations. Then develop an “I statement” to express the change you want to see. For example, if you are constantly losing your temper with a particular individual you might say, “I will love myself by responding to _______________ (you fill in the blank) by using positive, kind words.”

By focusing on what you plan to do and rehearsing it before you are in the throws of the conflict you will be better able to address your emotions and respond appropriately rather than react and regret it soon after. Just as our bodies produce positive chemicals like endorphins to diminish stress when we are exhibiting love, they also produce negative disease, causing chemicals when we allow negative emotions to run rampant.

Be sure your statement focuses on the desired outcome you want. Have faith that you will get to the desire outcome even though you may not be able to picture it occurring yet. (See Hebrews 11:1) This positive focus and rehearsal of the loving outcome will bring you closer to that outcome and closer to God. It helps you to renew your mind. As you develop and practice your statement you are Take Action. As you do so authentically your mind, and your emotions change, they will be transformed, as the Apostle Paul advises us in Romans 12:1-2, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” (The Message Version)

It’s spring, Take Inventory and Take Action. Journal your progress, if you are not fond of writing, you can use your cell phone or computer to make an audio file of your progress. Remember to focus on the beautiful and the good. Develop a strategy to make the challenges you now face into victories, overcome by the strength that comes by applying God’s word.

Remember to let me know if you need some help!

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”