This past week was filled with reports about the unexpected death of Robin Williams. Even those not particularly fond of his performances were touched by his passing. We can improve lives, ours and those of others, by processing this emotive event.

Unanswered Questions

Robin Williams, or anyone else that has chosen a similar end to their life, leave behind unanswered questions. The questions are probably as numerous as the relationships they had.

I experienced those questions firsthand. Many years ago a family member took his life inside the family home. I still have vivid memories of that day and the days, which followed. There were piles of unanswered questions. Along with the questions emotions were stirred too. I was in my late teens at the time, and the event has had lasting impact.

Saved, or Lost?

I have come to a point where I understand that God has all the answers. He has given us the provision for life with Him, beyond this place.  Jesus came that we might be saved. Our loving Father has informed us that no created thing can separate us from His love.

Therefore according to the Bible the act of suicide does not disconnect us from that provision.

So those whose lives have ended at their own hand, including Robin Williams, my uncle, and countless others, have not been cut off from God, not by that act alone. I cannot second guess why they accelerated the process. I am certain that God looks upon the heart. Indeed He knows its condition even before we take our last breath.

In Romans 10:9 we are provided the model for being saved:

“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” (King James Version)

Our personal salvation is our individual responsibility. We are each empowered by our loving heavenly Father to make that choice. My mother used to frequently say, “Every tub sits on its own bottom.”

Regardless of the bank balance, what designer labels are in our closet, what we drive or where we live, we have choices. Only God truly knows what we have chosen in our hearts. We all have access to Him.

Hiding in Plain Sight

We all have challenges too! Those who knew, worked with and appeared to be close to Robin Williams and my uncle, report that they did not know he was in such despair. In retrospect many seem to understand how the pieces could fit to form the picture of suicide. However, they still lamented that they did not recognize the indicators before the culminating action.

When I was finding my way as a young adult, I entertained thoughts of suicide. I felt unloved, misunderstood and abandoned. I was able to hide my strong emotions, in plain sight. I did not share with those closest to me. I thought I knew what was best for me. I felt no one could understand. It was as if everyone had their lives in order and mine was not.

I was trapped in a maze of darkness, hate, self-loathing, anger, which stemmed from my toxic childhood. It took time for me to see things differently. I thank God that I had the time and heart to see.

Perhaps you have been there. Maybe you are hiding in plain sight as Robin Williams and my uncle did. Conceivably someone in your family, neighborhood or household is hiding, in plain sight.

Take time to have conversations with others around you. Spend some time listening. Have real talk. Listen with your heart, be a safe place, show genuine concern. Invest some time now to avoid regret later.

First have a conversation with yourself, yes yourself, about what causes you to arise every morning focused on giving each day your best. What gives you hope? What keeps you motivated to live life? How do you get back on track when you feel lonely, abandoned or unloved? It starts with you.

In case you need them, here are some reference phone numbers:

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, call 24/7 1-800-273-8255 and for those of you outside the United States there is the International Association for Suicide Prevention located here.

Take Inventory and Take Action!

So, what can you learn from Robin Williams after his death? Ways to improve life, yours and others in your world.

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”