As we move into the second week of 2015 are you on course with the resolutions you made? Did you make any, or are you contemplating when to start your new plan for the new year? Is this another opportunity for you to make an empty promise to yourself, because it is one you will fail to keep? Part of loving you means being deliberately honest, supportive and nurturing to yourself. It does not simply happen by default.

Resolutions made at the beginning of the year rarely last. Could it be because we usually resolve to do something we merely wish we could change? Could it be that we are not being honest about what we really need to change? Could it be because we have not evaluated what we truly need to change?

When you reviewed 2014 what did you learn about yourself? Did you look honestly at your behaviors and interactions with others? Did you revisit some of the awkward situations in which you were involved to determine your role? Did you seek the truth about your thoughts, emotions and behaviors?

To Resolve or not to Resolve, is not the Question

According to Wikipedia New Year’s resolutions date back to the ancient Babylonians and Romans. It appears the practice was kept for religious reasons.

Resolutions per se are not solely connected with New Year’s observance. Resolution comes from the word resolve. Resolve has to do with making a firm determination to do something.

Surely it is not advisable to wait until once a year to make “a firm determination to do something”. Right? We are faced with making decisions routinely. Some decisions are of less significance than others. Some decisions do not require a firm resolve. Some of them are fairly inconsequential. However, matters of life and death require resolve.

So whether we are to decide to make a resolve is not the core of the issue. Making resolutions is something we do quite frequently. Those made at the beginning of a new year are generally more celebrated. When we love ourselves we examine ourselves regularly to show ourselves approved by our creator. He has created us with the ability to make choices.

How to Make Resolutions is the Question

After spending a great deal of time reviewing the peaks and valleys of 2014 that I experienced I noticed some patterns. I truly noticed how God came through again and again and again. Always on time. Always lovingly and justly. His grace and mercy are stunning examples of His love.

I also took a deliberate, long, inventory of my relationships. This was more bittersweet. I came away with many moments of, “I did not see that at the time” or “Wow…that is a pattern that I must change”.

God revealed situations where I thought I had behaved lovingly, yet my motives were out of alignment with the fruit of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance had not been the motivation for my action. I was able to rationalize that I had done the right thing.

When I deliberately and sincerely asked God to examine my thoughts, emotions and behaviors He was faithful! He allowed me to see that I am to resolve to examine my thoughts, emotions and behaviors more regularly.

Here are some questions that helped me to focus as I went through the process of examining myself:

• Thoughts

Were my actions a result of me thinking I was right? Were my thoughts true? Were my thoughts extreme or irrational?

• Emotions

What emotions was I feeling? What was I responding to? Was it something in the past or was it happening at that time?

• Behaviors

Were my behaviors consistent with who I claim to be? When have I behaved similarly? Knowing what I know now how would I have handled the situation differently and why?

When we routinely examine ourselves, stay in the word of God, pray and resolve to do His will, we will continue to make resolutions that are effective and useful for us and everyone around us. So to resolve or not to resolve is not the question, the question is how. The deliberate examination of our lives is part of loving; God, ourselves and our neighbors. Do it well and do it often, not just yearly!

Take Inventory and Take Action!

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”