Getting through the holidays at the end of the calendar year can stretch us. The extra rich foods, the enticement of shopping and the encounters with family, can cause us to become tired. Not like you need more sleep tired; the like you need something significant to change in your life kind of tired. This year can be different. Finding ways to close out the year with enough joy to last through to January is possible. Start by loving you more this holiday season.

I think most people experience a bit of a slump around this time of the year following Thanksgiving Day. Looking back at the events of the year and forward to a season of festivities, food and where there are so many things to get done on a personal calendar that it seems to fill quickly with more events than one person could possibly attend in six months.

Maybe it is your career, the house, the car, your health, your bank account, family, investments or your romantic life. Something generally becomes tiresome in this season of the year.

Are you feeling that tiredness already? Can you remember years past when you have gotten that kind of drained feeling, where you can hardly wait until the holiday season is over, so that you can get back on track?

At this time of the year many emotions come to the surface. The empty chairs around the table where family and friends formerly sat. The plans that were made and did not come to fruition, the tragedies in the family, neighborhood and world all seem to flood into our memories during this season. Poor eating habits lack of sleep and change in usual health practices all create the canvas for a picture of added stress. 

The shopping frenzies, which occur every year seem to have been accentuated this year with a growing number of retailers choosing to open their doors on Thanksgiving Day. The reports of people trampling others, fighting and even being shot as they attempted to snap up the best deal speaks to the stress that is added by shopping.  

Take Inventory

Do you notice that you are more stressed around this time of the year? As you replay the year in your head do you tend to review the mishaps more than anything else? Do you fret over the last encounter you had with someone, questioning why they said or did something that hurt your feelings? Do you ask yourself why you said or did something that ended in a negative outcome?

Do you go to every event to which you are invited? Do you invite people to a celebratory event that you planned and then become frustrated when someone indicates they cannot attend?

Do you spend time with family members and all the while critique what they are doing? Do you feel those disapproving stares that seem like some kind of a negative déjà vu?

Do you have too much alcohol or food? Do you gage the enjoyment you have based on the amount of calories you ingest? Do you believe it only happens once a year so you may as well indulge yourself to the fullest?

Do you spend your days “living it up” and your nights lamenting your actions, then take the first opportunity to repeat the same behavior again and again?

Do you feel “down” like a weighty cloud is hanging over your head for no apparent reason? What have past holiday seasons revealed to you about how your habits and lifestyle? Have you made changes in areas you already identified? Take Inventory, note where you are emotionally and the behaviors that you want to keep as well as those you want to change.

Take Action

Review how you want this holiday season to end differently than it has in the past. As you focus on loving you during this time, when stress tends to permeate the entire season, you will find you have more lasting joy and others around you will benefit from that too!

Here are a few suggestions that will allow you to Take Action toward loving you this holiday season:

Be aware of your emotions. Acknowledge your feelings, recognizing that you will need to renew your mind in order to change those negative feelings that linger, about yourself or others. Especially because the holidays tend to remind us of our family of origin, the traditions around those days and some of the pain of childhood. It can also remind us of those that are missing from those traditional observances and cause sadness. Be in touch with what and why of your feelings then you can move to the root cause and begin by building from the thoughts forward.

Think first about how to love yourself and take care of your needs. Contrary to what you may have learned it is not selfish to think about your needs first. However, it is selfless to think of everyone else first. If you have ever flown on a plane, you are given instructions by the flight attendant (should the air pressure in the cabin change, masks will come down from above your seat) “give yourself oxygen first then help others around you”. That works! It is much more difficult to give your all when you are depleted of life-sustaining nourishment. Know and nourish yourself first then attend to others.

Plan ahead. Think about your schedule what you have decided to take on and be proactive by building yourself up before you get depleted. Spend time in nature, meditate on positive outcomes and prepare yourself for success. The more you plan, when things happen that you had not anticipated the more likely you will maintain that positive stance and momentum. Look back at past similar situations where you were more stressed and wished you had taken precautions and do it now. Practicing good habits gets us closer to perfect.

The holiday season does not have to be a time of negative emotions, meeting everyone else’s need while you remain unnourished, or open to whatever demands others place on your schedule.

Part of the reason we feel overwhelmed is when we are not aware that we do have control. Our choices help to shape our lives and outcomes. We are not able to foresee everything. When we put our lives in the hands of our all-knowing Heavenly Father, He will order our steps. While we may not know every detail of what our future holds we do have the choice to know who holds our future.  

Love you more this holiday season! Happy Holidays!

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”