Have you ever said, “life’s not fair?” Well, I have. I can not count the times students within earshot have uttered, “That’s not fair!” Usually proclaimed after someone has suffered what they think is an injustice at the hand of someone else. In response to those students I have often replied, “Life’s not fair.”

Understanding how and why life’s not fair defines the hue of the lenses through which we peer to see our lives;  rose-colored or smoky. What we think about our lives and how we relate to those thoughts impacts our outcomes. Our thinking influences our actions. Our repeated thinking creates a mindset. Our practiced actions cause behaviors and habits. Those habits link together over time and become the blueprint for how we react to situations. The result is our lifestyle. It all begins with our thoughts.

Generally, the term life’s not fair, is interjected when someone is at the short end of an exchange, when the desired outcome is not achieved. Somehow we are able to reason that because someone else has what we want, or more of what we want, that the rules have been broken, or the game has been fixed. Perhaps through their eyes, in that same situation the other person sees that they have gotten what is rightfully due to them. Maybe life’s not fair, depending on who is looking at what situation and from which viewpoint. If it is possible for life to be fair which perspective is best? How can we think of some ways to make life even more fair?

Whose standard would be best to use to determine fairness? What day of the week would a certain chooser be chosen? What political affiliation would we deem capable of making such a choice? Which of the many nationalities, ethnic groups or skin pigmentations would be worthy to determine what is fair? Which child can discern what is fair for their parent? Indeed, what parent knows, for certain what is fair for their child?

The Standard

Everyone carries a degree of missing the mark. For all have sinned and fallen short. No matter who is elected, selected or volunteers for that duty they all are errant. Any candidate deemed worthy that inhabits flesh and blood as you and I, has a sullied track record. We have been unfair to someone, in some situation, be it widely publicized or not. Each of us has a blemish on our record.

Our individual ideas about what is fair is influenced by the experiences that each of us has had. It depends on the lens that we see through; how we think. It depends on how we evaluate and compare ourselves to others. It depends on the climate that we live in. It depends on our physical house and the pigment that we wear, including the amount of melanin in our epidermis. The multiple ways we group ourselves and divide is a virtual “new math”, depending on who the self-imposed mathematician happens to be at the moment.

Generally the concept of fairness has to do with tit for tat. We give or do something for someone and we expect something back, of equal or greater value, in return. A type of quid pro quo. An exchange of something for something. Think of the times when you have heard the term life’s not fair, or more importantly the times you have thought or expressed it yourself.

The concept of, “why me?” goes along with that thinking too. One remembers the times they allowed others to cut in front of them on the freeway and then when their need to make an unplanned lane change emerges they are ignored. One remembers the extra hours they reported to work early, or left work late to complete a project, when they are reminded about tardiness.

Is it fair that we are nice to people when they have wronged us? Is it fair when we make an “honest mistake” and we are treated with disdain? Is it fair that we belittle others because we can? Is it fair that we treat others with lack of respect because of their physical appearance? Is it fair that we shun others because they have less formal education than those in our circle? Is it fair to hold others in contempt whose address is in that city or that neighborhood?

Fairness simply stated is tit for tat. Reciprocity. God has given to us and requires us to release that which He has planted within us. He does not hold one person in higher esteem than another, according to His word. He does not discriminate. His promises are open to all of us. No matter what our creed, color, political affiliation, gender, age, or zip code. Jesus died for us all! He came to save the world!

The Blessing

Is it fair, that according to Romans 10:9-17 we can all come to know that salvation, provided for us by God through the sacrifice of His only begotten Son Jesus? No! Is it fair that we have all been endowed with gifts that allow us to be a representative of the love of God here on earth and we fail to do so? Is it fair that we disregard the commands of God and expect Him to keep His promises even when we do not keep ours? Is it fair that we refuse to love the neighbors that we can see, while claiming to love the God that we can not? No, no and no!

The blessing is that although life’s not fair, our loving heavenly Father is just and righteous. I am thankful that the omniscient God of heaven does not deal in fairness as we see it He has a higher standard and there is no end to His righteousness. Hallelujah!!

Are you focused on earthly fairness or heavenly righteousness? Take inventory and take action!

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”