What would happen if we understood operating in strength causes us to be happy?  What are your strengths? How do you apply what you know about yourself to live a better life? You are the expert on you. What would be the outcome if you loved you enough to operate in strength? What if we were able to unlock our life’s purpose by honoring what we know about ourselves? What do you know? Knowing and honoring who you are is key to happiness.

Think back to a time when you were a child and something happened that caused you to question who you are or wonder about the care givers in your life. Think about how you felt in that situation. Explore those feelings. How did you handle that situation? If you were able to recall it with many details and rather quickly it is probable because you had strong feelings connected with the event. When we have a strong emotional connection with events they remain in our memory more clearly. Look for truth. Examine how that person that you were then holds truth for who you are now.

As I thought of a situation I settled on one related to sharing that clearly stands out in my mind. The situation occurred with my father. Let me give you a little background. I remember being called “free-hearted” as a child, I was not clear at the time what that meant I now know that it meant generous and giving (willing to share). I also remember really enjoying apples then too. My favorite being Pippin, they are tart and sweet at the same time; delicious! My mouth is watering as I think of one now!

On this particular memorable day I had a shiny, juicy apple, probably a Pippin. I was very excited about eating my apple. My father was nearby and I thought it would be good to offer him a bite of what I anticipated would be a tasty treat, so I did. I said something like, “Daddy do you want some of my apple.” He said, “Yes.” I smiled and handed it to him.

Then he took the apple, with a look of glee in his eyes that I had rarely seen, next he opened his mouth and began to go all around the apple removing practically every visible centimeter except the core, with the precision of a machine! He handed the barely there apple back to me as the juice from the fruit ran down his mouth. I was crushed. I began to cry!

He remarked by saying something to the effect of, “I want you to understand that when you try to be nice to people they will take things from you!”

So young, so innocent, so unaware that someone I trusted and loved so much would dare hurt me so deeply. Within moments and without a momentary flinch from him I was crushed like a delicate, sweet grape under an elephant’s foot.

As I look back on my childhood, on the few situations I remember, that was one of the lesser hurts. Amid all of the violence, the abuse (I was either personally exposed to or witnessed), this incident seemed less significant however, as I reflect on it now, it became the basis for a momentous knowing in my life.

At my core I was (or rather) am freehearted; ”benevolent…generous in providing aid to others” (http://wordnet.princeton.edu).

Yet in my life individuals, have betrayed my trust, hurt me or others around me, despite my best efforts. As a result of interactions with them I have felt violated because of my being freehearted. As I reflect, I know that they have not caused me to be hurt, it is my own thoughts that created the feelings of hurt. As I look back now on what happened with the apple and so many other situations where I gave freely, expecting my feelings to be honored, my thinking was flawed.

Being freehearted means I am generous in providing aid to others. Glory to God I am, He made me with that gift and purpose in mind. I understand intellectually that we are all as unique as our fingerprints. I know that I will encounter others that have various gifts. Instead of being disappointed because my gifts are not appreciated I would be better served by knowing and acting on the truth that I am what I am and allow people to be who they are, unapologetically. The more I dwell on what I know and apply those truths to my life I will make room for new knowing.

The Apostle Paul, my favorite author, says the following in Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (King James Version) We are to renew our minds; to prove the will of God, the perfect will of God.

One way to look at that word renew is to reintroduce. So we can reintroduce truth into our thoughts.

When I went back in my memory to the time when the idea of giving was first new to me, as a young girl I was able to go back to examples of the truth of my giving to others. The truth of what others saw in me. Granted not everything we are called by others is true. That is something I will explore here later.

Ideally the gifts seeded within us are recognized and cultivated by loving parents and family as we grow. (http://www.mapsandlanterns.org/seeds-growth-possibilities/) While I was not planted in the best soil, weeds were propagated choking out much of the light and my direct path was overrun, as yours may have been too, the DNA of the seeds still remain. Hallelujah!

Now, my heart continues to be generous, that is part of my knowing, though, my expectation of others has changed, because I know to expect them to be who they are and not me.

Oh, I do have hurt feelings and experience betrayal with different results today. The time between the hurt and my realistically viewing their strengths has significantly lessened. Long ago I forgave my father and little Debbie (me) as she wrongly put her trust in men rather than God! The burden of keeping a score card to right every wrong has been lifted too. As I do what I know to do, I open myself up for more love; for myself and others. (http://www.mapsandlanterns.org/go-green)

What will happen when you do what you know to do? It is your choice. (http://www.mapsandlanterns.org/choice/)

Take Inventory and Take Action!

Go back and look for the truth. Honor who you are, nurture those gifts of DNA from your Heavenly Father. Purge the weeds, turn the soil, aerate it and give those seeds room to grow, regardless of where they were planted! Do what you know to do based on the truth that has been revealed to you. Open your life to more happiness with your knowing.

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”