This month is one with time set aside to honor presidents, African Americans and LOVE. There appears to be no controversy over acknowledging former Presidents Abraham Lincoln and George Washington – although one day is set aside to honor them both. Perhaps there would be far to many sales advertisements if the celebrations remained separate.

I have heard protests about having a month to mark the contributions of African Americans to society. I agree our time would be better spent not declaring a month-long celebration of African Americans during the shortest month on our calendar. We would have a more relevant display of honoring those contributions and those of others, if we could agree to recognize everyone’s value daily.

What is it like to see people that resemble you in positive family or community roles? What does it do to you inside to have someone value you because of the content of your character? How are you motivated to excellence when you are appropriately recognized for your accomplishments? How does it feel to be impacted by positive stereotyping? How encouraging is it to see affluence as part of your family tree?

Think about how little Magnolia, Martin Jr. or young Rosa may have felt as they grew up. Magnolia is a strong, beautiful woman now although she is in her early 80s. She conquered many negative stereotypes to become a teacher, school administrator, wife, and beloved mother of two fine men along with being grandmother and great grandmother. Magnolia was born in Birmingham, Alabama at a time when little Negro children passed several schools to get to those designated for them only. As a teacher she taught her class with enthusiasm from the books discarded by the White schools. She lived in an area where her children and their friends were subjected to bombings as they attended church. She remembers water hydrants being used to dull the spirits of Negro men and women seeking equal rights. She remembers dogs being used as weapons against people mobilized to sit or stand to uphold their dignity and human rights.

Her parents were able to send her to school, paying for her school supplies when she attended school. As a college student she experienced going through areas of town where Negroes were not welcomed. As she traveled on a school bus to another town for a sports event the youth were guided away from the town with loaded shotguns. She knows first hand about the “Strange Fruit” spoken of by Lewis Allen, the author of both the stunning poem and song first made famous through singer Billie Holiday’s haunting rendition.

You may already know the story about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.; likewise you may be familiar with Rosa Parks. Their real life experiences are powerful and received international attention. Indeed, their impact very noticeably continues to affect our collective image of human rights today. Little Magnolia, my neighbor, and the countless other unnamed, (mostly unsung) heroes and heroines impact life as well. Not because of the negatives they experienced, because my neighbor very rarely speaks about these occurrences. The few times she has spoken to me intimately about these details she does not display bitterness, resentment or vindictive language. She speaks from a heart that reflects the past like a window into another time without a divisive tinge. I love my neighbor, my friend. I appreciate that she has chosen to focus on triumph and success rather than obstacles.

Studies have shown that there is a correlation between negative and positive input in our lives. It takes approximately six positives to override one negative. So a child that is told that they will not amount to anything, at least once daily will need to hear that they can be successful at least six times per day to even believe that success may be possible. So to think that they will actually be successful in life it takes much more than six exposures to validate what is actually the truth. While this is not something that I want you to think of by literally counting, I do want you to get a feel for the powerful affect of this negative imprinting.

So powerful in fact that it does not have to be done directly with words. It is also accomplished by visual images, customs or societal practices. The negative messages become so ingrained in people that they begin to speak and think negatively about themselves and people who look like them, even when it is a lie. They believe they are not pretty, not smart, not handsome, not creative, not valuable. These types of messages are destructive. When people are bombarded by negative messages it becomes tremendously difficult for them to get to the positive truth about themselves. Can it be done? Yes! Is it done? Yes!

However, when we weigh the plethora of negative messages overtly and covertly imprinted upon African Americans, if we were to speak about the positive accomplishments made by African Americans twenty-four hours a day seven days a week during the one month set aside to acknowledge said accomplishments, there would still not be enough time to break even using the six to one ratio I mentioned!

I believe everyone can benefit by surrounding themselves with positive truths, not just African Americans. When most people see my neighbor I don’t think they think about what she may have seen or experienced as a young girl growing up in Alabama. I believe they see the truth of her positive legacy. That is what I have seen for decades when I see her.

As you continue, through this month, instead of wagging a finger of accusation at someone you may not understand, why not try to build their six to one ratio a bit. Help them to attain balance. Give them some honest, positive feedback. That can be done overtly in the form of a smile or a kind word. Or secretly pay for someone’s coffee at your local watering hole. Give your spare change to the person behind you in line at the market. Meet someone’s eyes with yours genuinely ask how they are doing and wait for their response. Call a friend, send an email, spend time with a neighbor let them know that they contribute to your six positives.

As you give to others you will receive, that is God’s way. His blessings will overtake you!!

Review those African American achievements as well as those in your neighborhood and nuclear family. We are all part of the same extended family! Build your six and beyond by gaining strength from the positive contributions made by people of all shades. Acknowledge positive contributions of others everyday because of the content of your character rather than the color of your skin. Then perhaps we will not need to set aside a month to remember anyone’s contributions, we can celebrate them everyday!

Take Inventory and Take Action!

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”