Have you ever been talking to someone and they promised to do something for or with you, and the second that promise come out of their mouth you knew they would not keep it? Perhaps you got a feeling, or a small voice told you inside, “Not going to happen.”? Did you almost see Pinocchio’s nose grow, right before your eyes as they spoke? Why do you think people misrepresent the truth in personal commitments, and so frequently?

Is it because we think it doesn’t matter if we tell a fib, untruth or white lie. It matters not how you stretch it, nor what hue it wears, a lie it remains. Everybody does it, right? What difference does it make, after all maybe they thought there was a chance they could meet the commitment, so they simply spoke a little hastily. What’s the big deal? After all Benjamin Franklin and “Honest Abe” (a nickname given to the sixteenth president of the United States because of his reputation for being honest) are long gone and those ideas of “the best policy” along with them, right?

Honesty is important, or is honesty important?

Today we have the ability to spread information with such tremendous speed. An event happening on one side of the world has passed to the other side in seconds. Whether it is true or false, at times with inconsistent details and with opinion being substituted for fact, the details do not always remain the same. Perhaps that is one reason why truth seems to be a rare commodity these days. Our society is bombarded with images of reality TV that is the opposite of realistic. This has seemed to trickle down into our individual relationships. It appears that some would rather explain away their lies or apologize rather than exercise integrity in the beginning.

Have you ever…been the one that opened your mouth and promised to someone else something you knew you had no intention of doing? Maybe you had a momentary twinge in the pit of your stomach as the words left your lips. Perhaps you were thinking, “When pigs fly I’ll do ___________________”. Could it be that you have masked the indicators that confirm you have made a wrong choice. Have you told yourself so often that lack of honesty is alright to the point that you easily push past those queues in place to keep you on the straight and narrow?

Why do we carry on this way? All of us, yes you and me too, have at times stretched the truth to a point where it is unrecognizable! Conceivably we did not want to hurt the other person’s feelings, appear to be selfish, or cause them to feel unloved. It could have been that we did not want to explain the truth or justify a no. Perchance it is done to inflict hurt on someone else, hoping they will be disappointed when we leave them wondering about the commitment we clearly made, anyway they probably have done the same thing to us before, right? The whys are of lesser significance to me. I endeavor to focus on changing the practice of purposefully speaking lies.   

Lies are harmful to us. They breakdown communication. They create distance in relationships. Our relationship with our spouse, our co-worker, our friend, our children, our family, our neighbor, our God and our self. They drain energies that could be better employed activating vital truths in our lives. When we lie we know inside that we have lied. Though we may protest when confronted, our subconscious mind still knows the truth. As we walk around seemingly unscathed by our wrongs their toxic remnants continue to harm us. We are often times our own greatest enemy.

Loving ourselves does not include condemnation. When we know what we are doing is inappropriate and we continue to engage in those practices although we may deceive some, deep inside we know, and clearly God knows too. When we are able to strip away the façade for ourselves and be honest it changes how we see ourselves. Loving ourselves is about embracing the lovely person God created us to be. When we are able to embrace the truth it brings us closer to the perfect love of God. When you are able to face, challenge and overcome your self-imposed bondage and love yourself, then your neighbor, you are perfecting God’s love. (See 1John 4:12). That perfected love empowers us to even love our enemies. (See Matthew 5:4 and Luke 6:27) As we do so we give glory to God who is love.

When we do not love ourselves, when do not love our neighbors we fail to follow God’s commandment. First John 2:4 informs us, “Whoever says, “I know him,” but doesnot do what he commands is a liar, and the truthisnotin that person.” (NIV)

I am here illuminate the path out of the darkness of condemnation. The Bible also reports that the Abraham, known as the “Father of Faith” also lied. We have an opportunity to clear our records and move forward in the way that is right. It begins with going to God with the truth. The truth about what we have done in the past and our heartfelt desire to move forward. Because of His love for us He gives us that option. It is a gift. In order to receive the gift you must receive it.  

Examine yourself. Take Inventory and Take Action. The choice is yours. Have you ever made that choice, do you need to refocus and make it again? I can help you to open your gifts!

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”