We are now almost two weeks into this year. It is already soon enough to see how it is shaping up. Most of the holiday hurriedness has dissolved. Friends and relatives have returned to their respective homes. You and I get to chart the course. We can determine what the end will look like by starting at the beginning with the end in mind. Here are three tips for shaping 2014 to be your best year yet!

Resolutions

Many years ago I decided not to make New Year’s resolutions. I found it was a set up for failure, an exercise in futility.

Making a statement to not do something puts that negative behavior in the forefront of the mind. We have a tendency to be drawn toward what we think about, which then generally establishes a negative pattern even stronger. It is more appropriate and likely to change a negative behavior by thinking about how you will replace that behavior with the positive actions that will lead to the desirable outcome.

Shaping 2014 to be your best year yet involves directing your thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions, behaviors, habits and thereby your character. All of which are under your control. Facing this new year with that understanding means you plan because things don’t “just happen”.

Inventory and Action

In order to make changes we first must recognize room for improvement is needed. Usually we recognize change is needed when we are hurting, especially emotionally. Things do not “just happen”. If you repeatedly find yourself in a place of hurting about a particular situation, look at yourself honestly. Things do not “just happen”. Then develop a plan to change unhealthy outcomes.

1.   List your successes. Look for those areas of success where you have made changes to improve your quality of life using your strengths.

I once had a manager that suggested to her direct reports that they keep what she called a “brag file”. It was a file folder that included accomplishments, accolades others had bestowed upon us, awards and the like. A place to store the best examples of who we were on our best days.

At first I thought this was “tooting my own horn”, thinking too highly of myself or showing off. All of which seemed to be selfish and demeaning toward others. However, what I came to know from following Kathy Ann’s advice was that it helps me to see a more balanced picture of myself when I can see the good along with the not so good. Thank you Kathy Ann!

2.   List an area of challenge. Think about an area that has caused you undo emotional stress for as far back as you can remember. Like a recurring dream that you can map out in your mind, you know the beginning the middle and the end. A patterned scene, which you can predict will end in remorse.

Not very long ago I realized that each time I went into a certain “big box” retailer I would seem to have a negative experience. When I left the store I would feel like a dark, dreary cloud had taken up residence over my head. I felt angry, hurt, and was ready to lash out at others recklessly and often did.

As I began to inventory my behavior I found that several of my negative triggers were engaged when I entered the store. The pattern of my thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions, behaviors and habits brought me to the negative outcomes I experienced. Those negative outcomes did not “just happen”.

3.   Use your successes to overcome challenges. Apply those successes from your Kathy Ann file, see how you can apply your areas of strength to the challenge you have identified. Give yourself credit for the gifts that you have. Apply your positive thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions, behaviors and habits to those areas of challenge. As you honestly engage the tools you possess to plan your approach to life you will shape your life to be your best life.

As I examined my Kathy Ann file I was reminded that I am able to promote good service as a customer. I also realized that the environment I was in could be positively influenced by my attitude and concern for others. My response to those very real triggers was within my control too. When I did my part utilizing my God-given strengths the picture changed. I am responsible for my outcomes, not someone or something else.

Begin early this year to Take Inventory and Take Action, ask God for guidance all along the way. Knowingly look to your strengths to overcome challenges, set yourself up for success! Begin shaping 2014 into your best year yet.

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”