Have you ever said that to someone? Has anyone ever said that to you? I remember as a young girl versions of the following being said about me, “Why is she so quiet?” or “She shamed to talk?”

Being silent was often more pleasant than saying what I was thinking. Because of the environment in which I grew up I had a large stored vocabulary of profane words and an overflow of negative emotions without conscious tools of appropriate expression. I also had come to know family matters were absent from the list of topics approved for my open discussion. I conformed to a pattern of silence sometime  resulting in unbalanced, unhealthy, volatile displays of emotions and other lumps in my emotional carpet that are not completely smoothed out yet. It was not until much later that I realized my personality and demeanor were such that being quiet kept me safe, in a number of situations—more often than not. What some would have had me be ashamed of, was part of God’s protection for me.

In my heart I do not remember feeling ashamed. I did feel different and uncomfortable, often. When shame comes upon us it is because of negative feelings of guilt. Guilt comes from the understanding that one has broken a law, rule or custom. As our actions are disclosed to others who may view our behavior as mean, aberrant or degrading, feelings of guilt are likely agitated into shame. When shame enters we often feel responsible or guilty for something; along with shame comes punishment.

To many the appearance of being guilty is to be avoided at all cost. The custom of “saving face”, a part of several cultures, probably most notably connected to the Asian culture places vital significance on a desire to avoid humiliation or maintain reputation and dignity. Some have even resorted to suicide to save face. Perhaps a permanent solution to a temporary situation.  

What have you changed in your life because of feelings of shame?

Feelings of guilt can be beneficial. The absence of those feelings allows us to continue to miss the mark. Just as traffic laws are part of a penal code to help keep all of us safe, so too are spiritual laws in place to protect us from harm. Spiritual laws go a step further and promote an abundant life. (See John10:10) The founders of these United Stated of America endeavored to create a place where one can pursue happiness. Our Heavenly Father provided a plan by which we are able to live in abundance here now and in the not too distant future.

When we feel the twinge of guilt for secular laws we are often halted from proceeding into lawless behaviors. Sometimes the thought of the shame it would bring upon us and our families pushes us to cover-up our misdeeds and do them in anonymity. At times, we may even attempt to cover our transgressions by bending the truth—with lies. What happens when we know that we have separated ourselves from the perfect, loving, powerful, holy God? (See Romans 8:31-39)  The same God who sent His only begotten Son as a ransom for all of the acts we have and will commit. What will we do prevent bringing shame on our Father? How will we show love to the one who does not condemn us, instead provides a way for us to be reconciled by the shed blood of Jesus? What do we allow to shape our opinions of right and wrong? Whose opinion ultimately matters?

God provides us with a plan to wipe away our sins, lawless behavior and stony hearts. He promises to give us a way out of any situation. (See 1Corinthians 10:13) He is pleased when we walk in abundance. Look at the limits shame and guilt have placed on your life. Look to our loving Father and ask Him to show you how to move closer to Him. If there is distance in your relationship with God, who moved?

 He has helped me to speak about His love and be comfortable as I do so. He has allowed that quiet little girl to help others to have a voice too. My love for Him, myself and my neighbor is abundant. I have yet to reach the end of my journey! I anticipate so very much more!! How do you reach the end of abundant?! I will spend my time here, now and in the future experiencing God’s best and His abundance without shame! How about you? Have you no shame?!

Take Inventory and Take Action!

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”