Memorial Day brings thoughts of family; celebrations, gatherings, traditions, occurrences and those that have transitioned beyond this life. Thoughts related to feelings of love and loss surface. Some thoughts arise about dysfunction in family relationships. Choosing to dwell on the dysfunction depletes energy, which is better spent on loving yourself and others. Thoughts of the family you could have had are dead thoughts.  Let’s bury the dead thoughts.

When I think of Memorial Day I am thankful for those who have risked and given their very lives for the freedoms we enjoy. I remember my mother. I remember the backyard barbeque, homemade ice cream, family and friends. The food was always outstanding! My mother was an excellent cook.

I also remember that on holidays someone in the family would have too much alcohol. Something inappropriate would be said or done. What began as a fun time would end on a very sour note. Do you have similar memories?

As a child and a young adult I prayed for God to change the family. My prayers were answered, but not in the way that I had imagined.

The change which occurred was within me, namely my thoughts, my perception. As I began to examine myself alongside the word of God my perception was altered. I came to a place where I was able to process the dysfunction beyond dread, fear or hatred. Fear, hate, dread and loathing are not able to coexist with love. Those thoughts are aligned with death.

I have had to bury the dead thoughts. The unproductive, draining, thoughts that will, if you allow them to continue, separate you from love. Let’s bury the dead thoughts.

We were created with the desire to love and be loved.  Whether you come from a happy intact home with two loving parents or from a highly dysfunctional home of chaos, alcoholism, domestic violence, incest and verbal abuse, as I did, we want to love our family.

We spend a great deal of time wishing that others would change.

If you are an adult your ability to change your childhood has expired. If lacking in your youth, your chance to experience being reared in a home with loving, nurturing parents has expired too. It is unhealthy to continue to embrace thoughts that are dead.  Let’s bury the dead thoughts.

Do you find yourself preoccupied with thoughts of why a sibling or cousin has halted communication with you? Do you ponder what you may have said and how you can retract that unknown statement or action, so that you can return to their good graces?

Are you questioning why neither your mom nor your dad protected and nurtured you as a child?

Are you wondering why you did not get the love you needed as a child? Do you want to know what happened to cause the dysfunction in your family?

You may not be able to digest the answers even if they are served to you on fine china with platinum utensils. .

What you can do is change you. God tells us through the pen of the Apostle Paul in Romans 12:22         that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. We are to look at these situations with another perspective; love.

The reality is, the family that we have is the family that we have.

We can, with the help of our loving Father bury the dead thoughts by seeking Him and His way of being righteous.

Our thoughts lead us to action.  Let’s bury the dead thoughts.

Since we have been instructed to love our neighbor as ourselves, by our maker, there must be some benefit to us, because He who is love, has commanded us to do so.

By continually examining ourselves, renewing our minds as we go, we are producing our best and highest life. The process of renewing our minds involves concentrating on God’s will in our life not by following deadly thoughts. That life is acquired by love.

The best way to bury the dead thoughts is to renew them with the thoughts generated by LOVE.

To renew you mind:

1)      Pray and ask God for direction

2)      Read the Bible to learn more about Him

3)      Respond to what He reveals to you

4)      Then go back to number one and repeat

Let’s bury the dead thoughts, renew your mind.

Take Inventory and Take Action!

Love,

Deborah

“Lighting the path to loving your neighbor as yourself.”